4               MYSTIC EXPERIENCES
mirage-water in the desert, and always do we find that water
turning into sand at near approach. And as I think of thisy
and who I am and whence, I find no pleasure in these large
dominions^ nor any in the enjoyments that they can supply.
"Do thou expound to me, 0 Sage !, what Is it, this that
dies, this that is born again and grows ? What are old age
and death and evil fortune, and birth and riches, disappearance
and appearance ? How may pain cease ? Such are the
thoughts that haunt me night and day, and the great misery
of the world weighs like a stone upon my heart, and often
should I weep aloud except for fear of my own kinsfolk.
Such are my ailments ; such the malady that embitters for
me all sweet things of life. Thinking of the many pains
that hedge round every pleasure, my mind can find no peace,
and frets unceasingly, like the wild forest elephant newly
put in chains.
^0 Muni! (1), men invented wealth to ease their pains.
But Lakshml(2), fickle, thankless, gives not ease, but ever
breeds heart-burning, discontent and greed and greater
misery; ever leaving man when most he wants her, ever
paying back his love with laugh of scorn.
^And Life itself, for which we crave and beg so cringingly
and piteously and meanly, life is fickle as the droplets
trembling on the edges of wind-shaken leaves. More sensible
is it to try to bind the winds ; more sensible is it to try to
break up space ; more sensible is it to try to wear the running
river's ripples as a wreath ; it is not sensible at all to place
faith in our faithless lives I No love of life is left in me,,
0 Muni I
, . ^Men find enjoyment in the play of Pride. How may
I speak out all its pettiness ! The I, the I, ever the empty 11
(1) Ascetic; originally, an aspetio who had taken the vow of